I was reading a news article the other day about yet another bullied child who felt her only way to deal with her life was to end it. It seems like there is one of these stories in the news at least once a month. The comments to the story were quite insightful; if you spend any time on news websites, you tend to see the fringe "trolls" of society, those who have free time to spout off hate, conspiracy theory, and the like. But, on this particular story, they were on-point. School bullying has been around since the beginning of schoolrooms. Ever watch "Little House on the Prairie" or old episodes of "Seseme Street"?
It's the world around the children that has changed.
Smartphones allow for kids to document bullying, to circulate videos and photos of the victims, to do more than dropping an anonymous note into a locker or picking an actual fight in the hallway. Furthermore, our kids aren't taught to lose. We've somehow become a culture where every child grows up thinking they are a winner. Peewee sports teams all get trophies at the end of the year, whether they finish first in their division - or last. Visit a Wal-Mart and watch the "discipline" meted out by young moms who seem to think they have to be the best friend and cave to every whim of their screaming, pouting five-year-olds.
I don't know about you, but on the rare occasion I chose to have a temper tantrum in a public place as a child, I got a firm spank on the butt, was picked up and sat in the seat of the cart, and don't-you-ask-to-get-down-until-we-leave. Which is why the tantrums were rare. No positive attention = no reward. These young kids, 17-and-under, think life shouldn't be hard and everyone should love them all the time. They don't know how to deal with it when someone points out a flaw - or worse, shares a mean comment on Facebook. (I'm not defending the bullies, by the way. Some kids are inherently mean. So are some adults.)
Anyway, back to the point. I've been involved with horses for 25 years. I have seen a lot of little girls grow up into confident young women on the backs of their horses. I can't speak to those who "grow out of" the sport. But, those who grew up riding learned how to win and how to lose.
They always had a friend they could count on in their horse, but they knew every ride wouldn't be perfect. If they had the chance to show, they knew every class would not result in a blue ribbon - or a ribbon at all. They learned that running a clean pattern or having a clear round was a victory to be proud of in and of itself. They learned responsibility and a sense of accomplishment by working to improve their riding - and working cleaning stalls and tack. Maybe some of these girls were still picked on. But chances are, they didn't care so much, because they had a real, living, breathing animal who looked out for them - and that they could not only control, but be a partner and friend.
So, help your kids. Put down the iPhone and go to the barn. It will be money and time well spent.
No comments:
Post a Comment